That hole

In our everyday lives we try to find things to help us find meaning in our lives. As humans we have made routines for our physical needs. We eat, sleep, have sex and there is that hole that we try to fill. You know that hole. That empty hole that tells us “well what else is there to do today.” So then we have the options of either sit down and do nothing or find inspiration. This is where the artistic part of the brain is activated. From the first sports ever created to brush strokes on a canvas. We humans have a deep hunger to live a life of meaning.

Some worth spending your time with that makes your heart play a melody that has never been heard of. Some people fill that hole with science and some with sports. Some fill that hole with artwork and some with technology and creating new software. Some fill that hole by understanding human behavior and bring people together.

I found that hole through fantasy. When I was a kid I was lost, angry and sad. I felt as though no one truly wanted me. I never lived with my real mother and my father passed away when I was 11 years of age. Talk about a child with stress. On top of that my stepmother did not make things easier for me. So I lived in my head a lot. I lived in the world of anime, marvel and DC. I played a lot of videos because I didn’t have many friends. Harry Potter became one of my best friends at that age because hey, his room was in a closet and my friends was no different. Harry Potter didn’t live with his parents and neither did I.

So then I started to write and draw. I love fantasy worlds. Final Fantasy and other RPG games. Those were my favorite. I didn’t like any other type of video games. Sports games were boring. I just wanted adventure and to wield a sword and cast magic. Like a real nerd.

Yes I lived in my head a lot. I was both a troubled child and nice kid. It really all depended on how I was treated. Fantasy was really the only thing that made me feel better. When ever I picked up the pencil and started drawing or when I wrote a story I felt that hole being filled. That hole in my soul filled every time I was doing something creative. Every time I wrote a fantasy story there was a smile on my face.

In my teenage years of course the more money you have the more you are able to do the things you love. I was able to buy my own video games and books. Then I entered the world of conventions. Anime conventions were like a dream come true. I loved it. The hole filled until I felt I found my purpose in life.

Fantasy was therapeutic and soul cleansing. Reality was the surface of the ocean where men of the sea threw their nets into the water to capture fish. I felt as though I was a fish trying to run away. Now I never tried to escape reality. No matter what you do you will be face with real life problems that are inescapable. You have work and make money otherwise you will end up homeless. You have to talk to people and make friends otherwise you will never find that one special person and have people to share your interest with. You have to go to school to learn the necessary things like math and reading.  I never tried to fully escape reality but  the world in my head was so much better.

Life can be as difficult as we make it to be or as difficult as our society has become. Either way is it sweet to have fantasy in my life. Fantasy gives life a beauty like non I could ever experience in the physical world. There is a saying “you are a spiritual being having a physical experience.”

Eistein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

He understood that the world of fantasy is the world of ideas that can then take on their physical form. From having images on a plastic screen to a rockets flying into outer space.

Fantasy flies with dragon wings. Reality is a 9 to 5 job. When I die I’d sooner go to Odealeous.

Check out my fantasy novels. Click here.

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